I Am Sorry
In our social interactions with our family, friends and work colleagues there will most certainly come a time when we make mistakes and we will need to acknowledge those mistakes and apologise. Being the elder, or the one in a senior position, does not exempt us from apologising. Hazrath Umar RA, while he was the caliph, and while he was engaged in addressing a public gathering, was confronted by a women and he said “The woman is right and Umar is wrong!”
Remember that having good relationships in Islam is so important that it is something that is necessary so as to develop our FAITH and having the ability to say ‘I am sorry’ is a very important tool that can really help us to have successful relationships. Apologising does not lower a person. How can being just and fair be bad? Apologising and being humble is a great character trait which leads to building good relationships.
Saying I am sorry for accidentally breaking someone’s cup or coming late for a meeting is relatively easy when compared to seeking forgiveness for acts such as breach of trust, lying, undermining someone’s authority, imposing our will over others, infidelity, disrespect, slander and so forth. The first group is accidental or mistakes while the second group stems from our pride, jealousy, greed or lack of self control; basically stemming from our nafs/lower-self. Ah! To apologise for this is almost impossible. We are putting ourselves into a really tight spot by sinning in this way, so its best to avoid these sins right from the beginning.
The thing about sins is that one wrong leads to another. If the person who was wronged brings up the subject, the wrong-doer would most likely lie to cover up or he might get upset and in order to divert attention from his own sins, he might then seek to find fault with the victim and attack him/her on unrelated issues.
When Allah SWT asked Shaitaan why he did not follow His command to make prostration to Adam AS, he, instead of apologising, began to make excuses. His rebellion increased in this way to finally lead him towards open rebellion where he vowed to mislead humanity for always.
“(God) said, `What prevented you from submitting when I commanded you (to submit)?’ (Iblis) said, `I am better than he (the human-being). You created me from fire whereas You created him from clay.'”
Al Quran 7:12
How sad! From one sin we slide into another and it does not end at this point but it can have all sorts of other repercussions for us. Because we could not apologise we end with strained relationships or breaking up relationships (which is detrimental to developing our faith).
Worst of all; because we cannot seek forgiveness from our fellow human beings we would never be able to seek forgiveness (tauba) from our Creator. Such interaction with others is a perfect opportunity to practice humility and to seek forgiveness so that we will be able to also get it right with our Creator. We are all human, we will all sin and the only way to correct ourselves is to seek ‘Tauba’
….Verily, Allah loves those who frequently turn with repentance and He loves the strivers to purification of themselves.
Al Quran 2|222
Not being able to seek forgiveness stems from pride. Pride is the basis and originator of all sin. It is the worst and it would not be left unpunished. Not being able to say “I am sorry” when we are wrong is also a travesty of justice and for this too we would surely be punished.
On the other hand, seeking forgiveness is the herald of great success. This is the most important ingredient to building successful relationships and eventually seeking our Lords Mercy and pleasure. Apologising does not make one weak. Men especially or people in high positions, sometimes feel that admitting to their mistakes and apologising for it is a sign of weakness. On the contrary, its a sign of strength and a sign of good leadership.
How sad, if we did not apologise for our mistakes/sins because we did not want to look bad in public. Our actions to avoid apologising is still going to tarnish our image. People would think of one who can not apologise as an arrogant person who does not care for others.
The bottom line… to save ourselves from a whole lot of aggravation, all we have to do is to conduct all our affairs with others in a good wholesome manner. Never think badly of others and do the bests towards building relationships. The Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, has said that we would not believe until we love for others what we would love for ourselves. So let’s not lie, break promises, commit adultery or disregard trust.
Shaitaan loves to cause dissention (fitna). Let’s not be his tools but instead, let’s strive against him by building good relationships. Insha-Allah
Peace and salutations be upon Allah’s Messengers who are responsible for guiding humanity throughout time. Ameen.
Published by Anjuman e Waris e Mohammedi.
Anjuman e Waris e Mohammedi was founded by Dr/Hakim Hazrath Khwaja Sayed Shareef Ahmed Ali Shah RA, (lovingly known as Hazrath Poona Wale Shah Saib RA).
Author: Mahomed Hassan Gaffoor
His WhatsApp: +27 84 910 1486