When we think of friends we do not think of them in terms of religion. In this article we explore “friends in religion”.
With the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Ever Merciful,
Friends are so important that they could be of assistance to us in the hereafter. Hazrath Ali RA said:
“you should take to friends. They will be counted in this world and the next. Have you not heard about (and he quotes from Quran) the inmates of hell who say “we have got no intercessors or bosom friends.” Ihya Uloom Ud Deen.
What is friendship? Somebody you spend time with, share thoughts and feelings with, sincerely care for one another, help each other in times of difficulty, uplift each other, help each other to be good and even help each other to stay away from sin. We must be like mirrors to each other so we could see our defects. Reflect, no one breaks the mirror when it shows our defects and so too, we must never get upset because our friend shows us our faults. Such people, that show us our faults, are the best of friends. Friendship is the groundwork or the ladder that leads to belief and love and it helps in the refinement of our characters and personalities. The Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, has said
“… keep good company with one who keeps company with you, you will then be a true believer.” Al Hadith 1:4:42:364 .
The best of friends is he who cares so much that he could help his friend to even rise above himself.
The best friend to have is Allah SWT and His Messengers and all those that are associated with Him and the worst of friends to have are those that are the enemies of Allah SWT such as Shaitaan and the disbelievers.
“Do you think that you will be left (alone in peace) while Allah has not yet distinguished those who strove hard (for His cause) from among you and who have taken no protecting friend apart from Allah and His Messenger and the believers? Allah is Well-Aware of what you do.” Al Quran 9:16
Friends of Allah
These are the Aulia Allah. They are always thinking of Allah SWT and they do everything to please Him. In their relationships with others, in their working, in their sleeping; it’s all centred around Allah SWT. In return, if ever they raise up their hands and pray to Allah SWT, then their prayers are answered but they seldom pray for themselves. It’s mostly for others. On the Day of Judgement their intercession would be granted. We must befriend them so that we could become better people and so that we too can become friends with Allah SWT.
An Ummah
Being friendly and imbibing the attributes of caring and sharing is that which creates an ‘ummah’ (a closely knit community). This is what Islam strives towards. We today need to be careful because we are being indoctrinated to be materialistic and materialistic people are selfish people with few or no true friends. The cure: make time for others, give presents, share our meals, invite people. Don’t invest for ourselves in properties and businesses more that our basic needs but rather invest in our relationships with others for the sake of Allah SWT by spending on them. Never fear; giving does not bring about poverty but on the contrary it brings about abundance and blessings in ways we can never imagine. It is for these reasons of improving our character, that friendship is associated with faith.
“And the believing men and women both are friends one of another. They enjoin the right and forbid the wrong ….” Al Quran 9:71
So friendship should be about helping one another to be good and stopping one another from doing wrong.
Choosing friends
Islam teaches us to choose our friends wisely. Choose friends that would take us closer towards good and Allah SWT. Not friends that teach us wrong.
“Let not the believers take the disbelievers for friends in preference to the believers unless you very carefully guard against evil from them.” Al Quran 3:27
The Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him said:
“A good and a bad companion are like a bearer of musk and one who pumps filth. As for the bearer of musk, he will either give you a share or you will get perfume air from him or you will purchase something from him and for the one who pumps filth, he will either burn your clothes or you will feel filthy smells from him.” Al hadith 1:4:42:340
The More Friends The Better
Friendship must start from those closest to us: our parents, siblings, spouses, children and so forth. We must never think small and only pay attention to our spouses and children only. Open up our hearts to all around us. The more friends we have the better. Friendship is not about getting but it is more about giving.
We must be weary: shaitaan loves to cause dissension between people especially a married couple. It is giving in to shaitaan when we break relationships and it is moving closer towards God when we try to build or mend our broken relationships. In building friendships we need to avoid some things, such as, we must not be suspicious or jump to conclusions (conjecture) because this harms our relationships. Give people the benefit of the doubt, forgive if they make mistakes. We are all human and we will all make mistakes.
Come people, let’s make friends as this will take us closer to our Creator. Inshallah.
“…. and love for people is half of wisdom,…” Al Hadith 1:4:42:194w
Peace and salutations be upon Allah’s Messengers who are responsible for guiding humanity throughout time. Ameen.
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