Flirting & provocative dressing is something that stems from our carnal desires and it needs to be controlled in order for us to attain lasting happiness and to grow our personalities and spirituality.
With the name of Allah, most Beneficient, ever Merciful.
I was working underneath a table and Jessica was casually standing behind me. Sulaimaan came into the office and thinking that no one else was around, caught hold of Jessica in a sexual manner.
One day Carmine was standing in front of the shop and a customer commented: “I love the stars on your jeans. Can I have one?” She giggled and replied “No.” So he said: “Can I have the ruby then.”
Hassan works in an office block and he is addicted to flirting. All of them have husbands and wives yet they were flirting.
With the technology that we have today, we do not need to be in an office block to be flirting – we can do it right from the privacy of our bedrooms. Hassan showed me the ropes to Facebook. He went into a chat room and he showed me how easy it was to flirt. It does not matter what you look like, you just have to say “cool” things.
He showed me his other sim card, the one he keeps hidden from his wife. He has about 300 numbers of “babes” that he can communicate with privately because he has managed to win their numbers. He prides himself as being able to crack any “babe” into giving him their number.
One “babe”, he said sent him some “awesome” pictures of herself.
Sadly, sometimes this “innocent” flirting ends up in adultery – which is cheating, lying, a breech of contract, a whole lot of ugly arguments and it further leads to divorce, children that despise parents, spouses that are ruined, humiliated, a community that looks down on you and of course your Creator that is unhappy with you. Is it worth it?
Perhaps it is a natural instinct for women to flaunt themselves with suggestive code names on Facebook, perhaps it is natural for men to hunt them down. There are lots of desires that are natural to us, but we have to learn to control ourselves for our own good.
It does not mean that if I love sweets then I must gorge myself with it day in and day out – It does not mean that if I want the good things in life then I must steal in order to get them.
Getting a companion is natural and religion teaches us the best way to do this. A way that ensures that everyone is happy- a way that ensures our self respect with everyone around, a way that ensures that it is good for just not our bodies only but also our souls, a way that is good and healthy for the children that may come about from such a relationship – a way that is fair to everyone, a way that Allah SWT has blessed. That way is getting married, and living within the bounds of marriage.
The Prophet (SAW) has said that if you do not like something in your spouse then consider their other qualities of which you may find one that pleases you.
If you know that fire burns, then you would not mess around with it. Similarly know that flirting can lead to adultery and fornication which would ruin not only our lives but also the people around us.
Take the precautions. “Lower your gaze and guard your modesty” 24:30, dress properly and not flirtingly, do not chat or be alone with anyone other than your spouse except when it is necessary, do not be fooled by a smooth talker/typer for his craft comes from experience and he would soon dump you for someone else etc. Be cautious in taking care of the little things and the bigger problems would not arise.
Although we might take care, we live in a western society and quite often we are exposed to situations that can be tempting. Allah and His Prophet (SAW) are not ashamed of the truth and sometimes go to great lengths to teach.
“Once, the Prophet (SAW) saw a woman that pleased him. He came to Sauda (RA) (his wife) while she was preparing perfumed oil, and there were women near her. He took her home and performed his necessity. Then he said: Whosoever sees a woman who appears pleasing to him, let him go unto his wife: because there is with her (his wife) the like of what is with her (unknown women).” Reported in Al Hadith from Darimi section on unnatural intercourse.
Considering, from what is happening around us, Islam is justified in not allowing the free intermingling of the sexes and asking women to dress modestly.
Intermingling and lewd dressing could lead to adultery and fornication which breaks up the family units that go to make up a stable, healthy society. Remember that the rules in Islam are not there to make our lives a misery but they are there to guide us to live a pure, healthy, happy and fulfilling life.
Peace and Salutations be upon Muhammad Salallahu Alayhe Wasallam.
Published by Anjuman e Waris e Mohammedi in 2010 – Author: Mohammed Hassan Gaffoor (WhatsApp +27849101486)