Children or birth control is a huge issue in Russia at present. Russia is encouraging couples to have children because the population is slowly dwindling. They are promoting pictures of family and banning pictures of just a couple.
With the name of Allah, most Beneficient, ever Merciful.
In recent times, there are many newly weds that are influenced by the media not to have children in the first few years of marriage and they delay children by taking oral contraceptives. The young couple either want to enjoy life first or get financially secure before being ‘saddled” with the responsibility of children.
What is becoming apparent in many cases is that when the couple is ready to have children then the wife has difficulty falling pregnant. Some couples go for the best fertility treatment to gynecologists but after a few years of expensive tests and treatment the wife still does not conceive a child.
A casual search on the Internet dishes up many articles titled “the pill does not cause infertility”. The mere fact that there are so many articles on this issue shows that there is some sort of concern. Where there is smoke there is a fire.
One thing agreed upon is that the return to fertility after using oral contraception is not immediate and does take some time. When compared to other forms of contraception, women using oral contraception take the longest to return to fertility.
One study in the USA involving 116 686 women revealed that while most of them returned to fertility within four years, 1400 women failed to conceive.
Although the majority did return to fertility, 12 percent did not and this is a large figure. In our community, in the group of couples above the age of 50 it is rare to find a childless couple whereas there are many potential cases that come to mind in the 35 to 50 age group.
Although there are many medical reasons for couples not to have children, such as a poor sperm-count or blocked ovarian tubes etc. our founder’s son Hazrath Hakim Aijaz Ali RA said that the most common cause of infertility today is the use of oral contraception.
Oral contraception interferes with the regularity of the menstrual cycle and as long as the menstrual cycle is irregular a woman would not be able to conceive.
Being a hakim (herbal doctor) he has encountered many infertility cases both in South Africa and India and they all have the same case history of oral contraceptives being used in the first few years of marriage.
There are many different views by Muslim scholars regarding the permissibility of birth control. (Read the section of marriage in Ihya Ilum Deen by Imaam Gazali RA). Some give it the green light while others don’t. Realistically – birth control is a part of modern life and most people use it.
Using birth control to space children out so as to allow weaning time or using it to limit children to a number that a woman could easily manage may be acceptable to some scholars but controlling them so that the couple could enjoy life first or amass a certain amount of wealth before having them will definitely be unlawful and forbidden by all the different scholars. It’s lacking faith.
Apart from birth control being forbidden for this reason it also makes no sense because children are a source of wealth and they are also a source of good times. The Qur’aan associates children as Allah’s favour and in other verses as wealth and prestige.
“And Allah has made for you mates (and companions) of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best: will they then believe in vain things, and be ungrateful for Allah’s favours?” – AL Quraan 16:72
As to children being fun, read this mothers experience:
Bringing a new life into this world was an extraordinary experience. I still remember all the firsts that I experienced with my child – the first kicks when I was pregnant with her, the first time she looked at me with those big questioning eyes – the first time I felt those tiny feet and hands wriggle against me as she gently sucked my breast – the first time she snuggled up to me and fell asleep – the first bath that she had – the first time she gurgled and laughed – the first time those tears rolled down her plump cheeks – the moment she held my finger with her tiny hands and took those first steps – the time she said her first word – her first Eid dressed in this cute panjabie – the look on her face as she left for the first day at school – the tears in her eyes as she left our home to live with her husband.
Those were the fond memories of mother-hood but there were also those not so nice memories, the excruciating pain of giving birth – the cry of my baby at 3 in the morning – the smelly diapers – the times when she was too sick to get up, the times when she repeatedly upset the kitchen cupboards – the times when she would not listen to me – the weird teenage years, etc.
Somehow these bitter moments have turned sweet as I think of them now because it gives me a sense of achievement, like the joy that comes from completing a grueling marathon.
Every child is unique and special, and we should try to have as many as is comfortable for us to handle. Insha-Allah.
I agree that children are expensive. Although I could not build up my bank account or enjoy as many holidays as I would like to, but I am more than happy with my experiences with my children.
Peace and Salutations be upon Muhammad Salallahu Alayhe Wasallam.
Published by Anjuman e Waris e Mohammedi in 2010 – Author: Mohammed Hassan Gaffoor (WhatsApp +27849101486)