It’s important to reflect upon how our marriage will affect our relationship with our parents and siblings. Parents after we’re married.
In the name of Allah most Beneficient ever Merciful
An important part of being a good Muslim is to be grateful. Our Holy Prophet Muhammad Salallahu Alayhe Wa-Aalihi wasallam has said: “Whoever is not grateful to man is not grateful to Allah.” Ahmed & Tirmizi.
Now, apart from Allah’s Chosen Ones, the people that do the most for us is our parents. Our Holy Prophet Salalahu Alayhe Wa-Aalihi Wasallam has said that “paradise lies at the feet of your mother.” Ahmed, Nisai & Bahaqi
And, from our Holy Quraan“Show gratitude to Me (Allah) and to your parents.” Surah Lukmaan 31:14.
In this article, we are discussing the role and place of parents after we’re married. Taking care of them in this stage of our lives is a bit more challenging because there are more people in our immediate lives.
People today, have the tendency to concentrate on building their lives around their spouse and children which quite often results in them neglecting their parents.
Getting married does not mean that we have to divorce our parents. Having our own house is a preconceived notion instilled into our minds by the materialistic powers of the world through the media to trap us to work harder.
We have to bust this myth. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing our lives and living spaces with our parents. On the contrary, it has so much benefits, such as: more people to grow to love, cost efficient, safer, easier and so forth.
If we inculcate the right attitude to living in an extended family, it can be really easy and enjoyable.
So, at the outset, we need to firmly resolve or create a mindset that we will not distance ourselves from our parents. No matter what, our parents must always be a part of our lives. If we cannot live with them because of space issues, we must live close by.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to discuss such issues with our prospective spouses prior to marriage so that this does not become a problem later. Our spouses need to understand that both sets of parents must always be a large part of our lives.
We also need to know that our parents will try to give us as much freedom as possible because they do not want to be a burden or come in between us and our spouses.
Mum, Dad, we know that you like your alone time, but we also know that you love your children and grandchildren and you want to spend time with them too. We will try to give you the best of both.
We will share our lives with you but we will not burden you to take care of the children or for you to have to discipline them or for you to cook or transport the children to school. You can help to do some of this but it must be at your leisure or something that you want to do so as to keep you occupied.
Let’s make our parents our friends by doing things with them or taking them out with us or talking to them, or buying them gifts. We must figure out their likes and dislikes and try to please them, Insha-Allah.
Sometimes, the elderly do not like going out so we must make time to just chill with them.
Sometimes, our parents will be carrying something and when we offer them help, they will tell us that they can manage. Sometimes they will say that they enjoy being alone so as not push us to be with them. Lets help them anyway and lets be with them.
Sometimes they will offer to help us financially or to assist us in the way of offering to pick up the children or to do the cooking.
They are doing all of this because they are our parents and parents love and care for their children and we should not take advantage of any of this.
Apart from fulfilling our religious duty by taking care of our parents, this can be fun, challenging, educational and even, enjoyable, especially for our children. Grand children and grand parents have a very special bond and we must not deny them this.
To read a related article on our website click “mother in laws and daughter in laws”. END.