In this second article about knowing ourselves so as to develop self control we look at ‘Showing Off’ or ‘seeking attention’ or ‘strutting our stuff’.
With the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Ever Merciful,
Islam is not just about ritualistic acts of worship but it is more importantly about striving hard for justice and truth, within OURSELVES first, then within our FAMILIES and lastly within our COMMUNITY at large.
As a Muslim, our duty is to firstly put ourselves right and an important aspect of putting ourselves right is MODESTY.
“The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has said that faith has 77 some odd branches, the highest is to believe in Allah Subhanahu wa ta’alha and lowest is to remove an injurious object from the pathway, and modesty is a part of faith.”
He is giving the highest and the lowest and then out of 75 branches of faith left he chooses to mention ‘modesty’. This is unusual and we need to think about why he is doing this. It is not coincidental that he did this but on the contrary, it is the highest way of teaching. He is drawing our attention to this aspect. This is an area that we will have the most difficulty in and this is an area that we need to pay special attention too.
So modesty is important. Modesty is not just about the clothes we wear. A dictionary meaning of modesty: “the quality or state of being unassuming in the estimation of one’s abilities”. Being modest is not only about not taking full credit for what we achieve, but it is also about not showing off or seeking praise and attention from others. In other words, when we show off we are thinking well of ourselves and this is immodesty. If we analyze our dressing carefully then we would see that this dressing with revealing or tight clothing is a way of showing off and seeking attention.
“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what [must ordinarily] appear thereof;…” Al Quran 24:31
It is for this reason that Islam teaches us to also hide some of our good deeds – to also, sometimes pray late at night alone, to also give charity in such a way with the right hand that our left hand must not know about it. The holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) teaches that if we pray to gain recognition as a pious person or if we give charity to be known as a generous person then we will end up in hell.
The thing about seeking attention to be the most beautiful, or the cleverest, or the most pious, or the most generous is that it amounts to self-worship. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has said that this is ‘shirk’ which is associating partners with Allah Subhanahu wa ta’alha. All praises belong to Allah Subhanahu wa ta’alha and we must not try for praises. In essence whatever we have is by the Grace of Allah Subhanahu wa ta’alha and if He wishes He could take it all away in an instant.
In the traditions of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) this greed to be recognized is termed ‘ria’ (secret greed) and the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) indicates that this greed is so secretive that it is very difficult for a person, himself to know that he is seeking praises and attention. In yet another Hadith it is termed ‘the lesser shirk’ but this seems to mean more like a second type of shirk when compared to idol worship because in yet another Hadith the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said this:
“Hell prays 490 times a day to be saved from another part of hell and when asked who is this part of hell for, he replied that it is for that person who prays and then lengthens his prayer so that others will think him pious”.
So this is a very serious sin and we need to take steps in this regard to purify ourselves by not seeking to be special.
This urge to show off our possessions, knowledge, bravery or even piety so that people would think well of us stems from our carnal desires or ‘nafs’. Overcoming this urge is making ourselves better people, more secure, well-adjusted people and this will grow our spirituality. We will begin to see things more clearly. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), when returning from a battle, commented that:
“now we are returning to the greater battle and this greater battle that he was referring to is this internal battle with our passions (carnal desires).” Al Hadis 1:4:43:199w.
In life we learn to walk, read, work and so forth and the most important of all of these things is to learn to control our baser urges because this is necessary for our spiritual growth.
If we seek recognition and praises, it amounts to feeding and growing our pride and this is emulating shaitaan. He wanted, and claimed to be better than Adam AS. Seeking to be better than others in terms of beauty, earnings, careers and so forth and pride is the root to all evil because it leads to selfishness, jealousy, greed, treachery and, as we now know, even shirk (which is associating partners with Allah) Just to realize that we are doing things for show is difficult, almost impossible. If we get it right in one level, it would rear its ugly head in another. As an example: if we stop doing things for show, we will progress to have other strengths, that we did not have before, and we will begin to think that we are special and just this thinking, that we are special, is wrong too.
If we can get this urge to be recognized under control, then this is a higher state of consciousness. It leads to contentment, peace within us, wisdom and enlightenment. It leads to the higher spiritual level that tasawaff teaches, it leads to being in tune with Allah Subhanahu wa ta’alha, it leads to true greatness.
“When self- interest appears, virtue becomes hidden: a hundred veils rise from the heart to the eye” Matnawi vol 1:332.
Not many people or no one at all will bring it to our attention that we are ‘fishing for compliments’. However, a true Spiritual Guide will never fail to bring this to the attention of his disciple (mureed) and may even take unpleasant steps to correct this. A mureed also has to be true and in tune in order to realize this and receive these blessings.
In this regards our Pir o Murshid RA once quoted a sher of Allama Iqbal: “metadae aapne hastie koe agar kooch martaba chathe, daana kaak mae mil kar goole goolzaar hae ja-en-ge.”
(if you want a true status then destroy your beauty (desire to be known); the seeds (of what’s left of you) will mix with the dirt (nothingness) and become roses and gardens.)
True greatness cannot be achieved by striving to be great but true greatness can be achieved by striving to realize and know that we are absolutely nothing and Allah Subhanatallah is everything.
We need to be wary. In our present times, the evil mongers in the world use this weakness in us to encourage us to seek recognition. Get a good career, drive the best car, own the best house, train the brightest kids, make the wittiest remarks, wear the tightest jeans, to show off our beauty or grow the longest beard and talk about religion so that people will think us pious. We are being taugh to feed and grow our egos instead of curbing it.
“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.” Al Quran 24:30
A modest person does not ask or beg. It is common amongst us Muslims today to think that if we pray, we are good Muslims. If you have an electronic copy of the Holy Quraan then search for ‘paradise’ and you would learn that the primary condition for entry into paradise is “faith”. Modesty is a part of faith, it’s important, so let’s take it seriously.
Peace and salutations be upon Allah’s Messengers who are responsible for guiding humanity throughout time. Ameen.