Socialising or Loneliness, which is better? In Russia at present, the government is implementing programs to encourage people to have more children because they forsee a trend where peopld are having fewer children and the population will decrease in future. The Rabbiul Awwal Special take a closer look at this trend.
With the Name of Allah, most Beneficial ever Merciful.
There must have been a time when people lived in a tribes. It’s not something we or our parents saw. However what we seeing is that: about 30 years ago, people lived together in large extended families, but with each passing day this trend seems to be changing. Quite often today we see a single person sometimes living in a large house with only a dog for a companion.
Leaving our old-aged parents to fend for themselves is history, putting your children into a crèche or getting the maid to look after them is history. The trend today is not to have children and the trend is fast moving towards not getting married at all.
Gone are the days when people got married as soon as they were of age. Today, young people concentrate on their careers, getting a set of wheels and buying their own space first. Even on a communal level the trends are fast changing. Even if they do get married they end up divorced very quickly.
I remember days when properties had no fences and neighbours interacted with each other on a daily basis. All we see of neighbours today is them driving in or out of their garages.
Although we live loosely as a community, we are not really a part of it. Basically, we are losing the ability of interacting and communicate with the people around us.
There are many factors that contribute to this and perhaps this is one to consider.
If we are not working ‘eight’ days a week then we spend so much of time alone in our bedrooms with our computers, cell phones and TVs that we do not have any time to spend on socialising with people. Even toys for children and computer games are designed so that they could play alone.
In comparison, forty years ago children spent time with their friends playing with tops, marbles, kites and carts. They played social games such as hop scotch, three tins, “golie danda,” blind man bluff, hide & seek, etc. Many joined soccer, cricket or swimming clubs.
Most children shared their bedrooms with their brothers and sisters. During the vacation, children quite often packed up their bags and excitedly went to their cousin’s house for a holiday.
It is during these games and outings that they learnt to share, to respect the feelings of others and a host of other social skills such as to sometimes give up their ideas and go along with a better idea or another’s idea for the sake of unity, to humble themselves and apologise when they are wrong etc.
There was always the fights. arguments, squealing, cuts and bruises but at the end of the day there was an experience that they could learn from.
Perhaps parenting is causing us to be less sociable. The aspirations of parents today are not the same of parents 40 years ago. Parents then set certain boundaries, guided their children and allowed their children freedom to develop without interfering too much.
They were happy with the choices that their children made so long as it was within the framework of Islam. Today’s parents have great expectations and ambitions for their children and they push them to achieve. We are producing academics and highly qualified people at the expense of them learning socialising skills.
Yes, they would have status; earn well and possess good things but they could have problems socialising.
Socialising is an important aspect of Islam. Parents, family, neighbours and the destitute have rights over us. The first 10 years of the Prophet (SAW) mission was spent on teaching people how to live with each other.
He broke down the barriers that divided people and he welded them into one “Ummah.” He said the “Ummah” is like a body. When any part is hurt then the entire body feels the pain.
He stressed loving for others what we love for ourselves ás being a part of faith and if we live by this important principle then we would have good relationships all round. We will hardly hear of divorce.
He taught people to greet one another even if you do not know the other person. He encouraged shaking hands, embracing, kissing children and sharing gifts. The Prophet (SAW) did not teach his followers to isolate themselves and pray to Allah only but instead encouraged pious people to play an active role in society.
Islam is not about prayer only. Getting close to Allah is not only by prayer but it is also by being good to our parents, spouses, children and neighbours etc.
End
Peace and Salutations be upon Muhammad Salallahu Alayhe Wasallam.
Published by Anjuman e Waris e Mohammedi in 2010 – 2nd edition – 2025. Author: Mohammed Hassan Gaffoor (WhatsApp +27849101486)