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How To Attain Happiness. Happiness is something we all desire but unfourtanately acheiving happiness is not easy and straightforward.
Most people think that happiness comes about when they get the things they desire such as wealth, romance, partying, fast cars, luxury holidays to an exotic locations, loads of entertainment, the best foods, the best cell phone, branded clothes and so forth.
More often than not, these things that we strive for and plan for at best, brings about short term happiness. Then, some things that we are hung up on, never materialise or they may never live up to our expectations, resulting in sadness. Some even go wrong resulting in remorse and suffering, instead of happiness.
Some of the things, that we think will bring us happiness are life long ambitions but at the end of our lives, when it is too late, we realise that it did not bring us the happiness that we anticipated. How futile, what a waste. Or we achieved this goal but it resulted in some other greater loss.
Quite often, the pleasures we seek also result in long term pain and suffering. Eg we work really hard to build this house for our children but when they grow up they move off to a far away place leaving us alone with this really huge house. Such parents feel betrayed by their children.
Or a woman dating is happy for that moment but she can end up suffering for the rest of her life because she was date raped. Or, a person is singing and happily dancing in a drunken stupor only to end up with a hang over the next morning or he met with an accident that left him disabled.
What comes through from all of this is that happiness also depends on not experiencing pain or regrets. It is very difficult to appreciate this factor with regards to happiness because it does not come with the thrills and the bright lights but instead, if we learn contentment, it leads to inner peace, tranquility and happiness of a different sort.
This is what religion is all about. It guides us towards attaining peace on every level, starting of with inner personal peace, which brings about a peaceful family and eventually a peaceful community.
Consider, the physiological pain of being abused by a dear one that is an alcoholic or a dear one being unfaithful to us by committing adultery, or the agony of going through an abortion because of an illicit relationship, or the suffering from the greed and obsession for wealth, or feeling the pain of rejection, or feeling the pain of being unjustly treated, or experiencing poverty, or experiencing the humiliation of being raped or sexually harassed, or experiencing the rejection of a son\daughter etc.
Some of these experiences physiologically scar people for life and they never experience happiness again. Our religion forbids alcohol use, forbids adultery and fornication, forbids usury (exploitation of the poor by the rich) and so forth and in this way it is protecting us from such suffering.
True happiness is something that is everlasting – something that has no troubles – something that creates such satisfaction in a person that he/she has no further wants.
This happiness can only be achieved when not our bodies, but our inner soul is satisfied and this boils down to attaining faith (emaan). Once we attain ’emaan’ and inner peace then all these other factors would not be able to influence our state of peace and happiness.
Attaining ’emaan’ is mainly about LOVE.
Firstly we have to find and grow to love Allah’s Chosen ones for the sake of Allah SWT. (This is the most important prayer of a Muslim, Sura Al Fatiha).
This love unlike the love for this material world does not fade but instead grows because Allah is, Most Glorious, Ever Living and All Perfect.
This love, for Allah’s chosen ones for the sake of Allah, is genuine because there is no such thing as being jilted.
Happiness and contentment is guaranteed because what we achieve is way beyond our expectations. Even the pain of the trials and tribulations on the path of this love is so sweet and enjoyable.
Look through the literature of the Sufis and the Faquirs, listen to their poetry and you would notice that it is only about love.
The wine of true love, (a Sufi expression), unlike material intoxicants, does not wear out and the lover is in perpetual ecstasy at all times.
The Holy Prophet Muhammad Salallahu Alayhe Wasallam told his disciples: “You will not believe until you love me more than your parents, your children and all of humanity.” This is how we should love our spiritual guides.
Secondly, still on love, the Holy Prophet Muhammad Salallahu Alayhe Wasallam has also said: “you will not believe until you love for others what you love for yourself.”
We, the Muslims of today, need to teach our children to look beyond the glitz and the glamour that our modern world is offering so as to see the pain that it ultimately results in. If we truly care for our children then instead of pushing them to achieve worldly success, we need to guide them towards a spiritual path so that they may experience true joy and contentment.
Listen to our audio novel Doolhun The Bride which deals with love in great detail.